Rosie Simpson took a foreign cruise
just before the war
She met a man in the fatherland
cruising the Salzburg bars

Al was a dove and a math whiz
a product of German science
He and Rosie laid down that night
?Couldn't care?, worked it out on paper

(chorus)

Simon never knows why he gets A's
and the others just beat their heads
Simon never had a care 'til he heard
all the stories about his dad
Stories about his dad

Rosie went back to the states
The world was catching fire
She discovered she was three weeks late
Simon showed up nine months later

(chorus)

Simon never knows why he gets A's
and the others just beat their heads
Simon never had a care 'til he heard
all the stories about his dad
Stories about his dad

He read the headlines every day
A secret for him to share
And he realized in a flash of white light
His dad equaled M-C-squared

(chorus)

Simon never knows why he gets A's
and the others just beat their heads
Simon never had a care 'til he heard
all the stories about his dad
Stories about his dad

Simon finally found his roots
though he never met his dad
But we now heard Simon's name
He said to himself,
"that's the best idea I ever had"

(chorus)

Simon never knows why he gets A's
and the others just beat their heads
Simon never had a care 'til he heard
all the stories about his dad
Stories about his dad

(repeat "Stories about his dad" and fade