Kevin at the kitchen table
Short of breath, legally disabled
Wife walks in she's so surprised
So dissapointed I'm still alive
I say I'm hungry for biscuits and gravy
But patty melts that you always made me
And I can't eat them, anymore
Chorus 1:
They say greese kills, taste good to me
Day in, day out, it's all I eat
A third by-pass, unclog the bile
Just to clog them again
Never felt worst, a constant thirst
Lordy how my mouth dun hurts
I blame my job, I blame my wife
For this coronary life

Kevin on the ER table
My vital signs ain't too stable
Hey doc, I'm proud of you
I didn't think that I'd pull through
And later in intensive care
I have the nurses laughing there
So thankful blue-cross will pay
Chorus 2:
For the pills, my IV's
A thousand dollar EKG
And that's the last
Time I'll need angioplasty
It's off I go, too tae-boe
To improve my cardio
Guess 'bout time I said goodbye
To my coronary life
Sweat pourin' off me at the health spa
That old stair master wore me out again
You know I can't believe how much I've missed
The way I used to live
Chorus 3:
I'd eat red meat
Pickled pigs feet
Always craving something sweet
My food was fast
But that's the past
I can't eat them again
Arobicize, reduce my thighs
No more german chocolate pies
I miss my fudge, I miss my pies
And my coronary life