If I was president of good old USA
You know I'd turn our churches into strip clubs
And watch the whole world pray

I'd give the working man back his money
I'd make the dirty fucking politicians pay
To all the women raising our children
I'd give 'em a vacation every year

To our good women raising our children
Give 'em a paid vacation every year
While all the good gals are relaxing
Us daddy's will be out looking at titties and drinking beer

If I was president even for just one day
Ya know I'd make the day Joe C passed away
One of our nation's new national holidays

If I was president I swear I'd get the job done
Ya know I'd uphold the freedom of speech, baby
And our rights to carry guns
I'd give my state of the union address
From a mile high smoking a joint on air force one

If I was president I wouldn't lie or sneak around
If I was president I would have sex in the oval office
Then lie about it all over town
I'd put TV cameras in the Lincoln bedroom
So the whole nation could watch Rock laying it down

And Monday night football on every TV
And Lynyrd Skynyrd on every radio
I'd give myself a pay raise
So the good folks in New York would never
Have to pay to see a Kid Rock show

I like good whiskey, I like fine ladies too
I've got off on a bad reputation billy
From running 'round with cats like you
I'm so glad to be back in New York City
For MTV's 20th playing for some of the best fans like you