Dum diti dum dang dang di dum
2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum
1 bum said look jack I'm the shit
Put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick
My mothers crazy I think she sniffs glue
She never liked me and I know that's true
Kicked me out the crib be'cause I got a tattoo
No one loves me and no one cares
And all I ever get is funny stares
I can't help it if I'm nothin but a wino
So I hang at the zoo chillin with the rhinos
Stealin' bottles of booze outta a & p
I know a girl at denny's and I always eat free
Got the same birthdate as thomas crapper
For christmas I bought the old man the clapper
I'm so dapper u can call me dan
But they call me round eye when I'm chilin in japan
Got a bad ass bitch adn she ain't no dike
But fuck that ho and let me tell ya what I like
I like bean burritos from taco bell
I like trippin on acid with dick vitale
My hair ain't plastic and my clothes aren't clashin'
I write my rhymes on a schooner in a 90's fashion
Took too many many trip and now I can's stop trippin
My mellow d killed a rat in the kitchen
U think u toke tuff I'd disagree
Nobody blows more doobs than richard d
I get I'll on hoes who I know ain't fertile
I'm a real jet setter like cecil turtle
I'm down with bill bands so fuck joe glover
And while I'm at it muther fuck fat ass sally struthers
U look fine girl kinda undercover
But I can't fuck ya 'cause you look like my mother
I said dang digee dang di dang dang
It ain't eric estrada or kool and the gang
U know I hand in the clem chillin on the strip
With all them mother fuckers who slang that shit
U know I'm a pimp hold my dick like a holster
U sing it "all the girls want a kid rock poster"
Lifes a big joke and that's how it strikes me
But fuck it 'cause I know "somebody up there likes me"
Assholes are only assholes, fo sho'