It all began with the bright light
The bright light and the noise
The chaos of the senses and the scream of desire

Touching and being touched
A million loose ends to tie up
Ticking of the clock and the cradle rock

The colours stand still
And then they move around
Comin' in and out of focus upside down

Empty winter trees
How space feels
Love of the soft the flowers and the sky

One fine day
The chaos subsides
Bleeds into awareness
And a lifetime of surprise

The beauty of your mothers eyes
The pain when you fall
You drink it in and marvel at it all
But you never really figure it out

You get used to it

The babble of the family
And the dumb TV
Roar of the traffic and the thunder of jets

Chemicals in the water
Drugs in the food
The heat of the kitchen and the beat of the system

The attitude of authority
The laws and the rules
Hit me square in the face, first morning at school

The heroes and the zeroes
The first love of my life
When to kiss and to kick and to keep your head down
When they're choosing the sides

I was never any good at it
I was terrified most of the time
I never got over it

I got used to it

Alone in the city at seventeen
With the hollow and the lonely
The drowning and the drowned
I was made to feel worthless
The wretched and the mean
Beat me up like a weapon I can't run away from or find a way round

Holdin' on, holdin' on

The greed and the missiles
Exploding somewhere every day
Hideous dark secrets under the sea and in holes in the ground
-acap