I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East
No Trees, no Snow, no Santa Claus,
They have Different Religious beliefs
They Believe in Muhammad,
And not in our Holiday
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say

Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas
Put down that book 'The Koran'
and hear some holiday wishes
Incase you haven't noticed,
it's Jesus's Birthday
So get off you heathen Muslim Ass
And fucking celebrate

There is no holiday season in india,
i've heard
They don't hang up their stockings,
and that is just absurd
They've never read a Christmas Story,
They Don't know what Rudolph is about
And that's why in December,
I'll go to india and shout

Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas
Dring some 'nog, and eat some Beef
and pass it to the Missus
Incase you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your heathen hindu ass,
And fucking celebrate

Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin
On December twenty-fifth,
all they do is eat a cake
and that is why i'll go to Japan,
and walk around and say

Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum
Incase you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry Fucking Christmas to you

On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say
Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists
and all you atheists too
Merry Fucking Christmas to you
Thank you, Mr Hat