Seymour Krelbourn, so finally we meet you
This is an occasion Let's toast it Up yours
Relax Canape? ???? Let's talk turkey Sign here
and we'll book you on lecturing tours

Be a star And we're sending photographers Thursday
So get the plant ready and wear a clean shirt
Just sign this release Need a pen? Aren't you thrilled?
It's the cover of Life magazine Dessert?

I'm telling you son, it's a cinch to get ratings
The title is Marvin's The concept is mine
The first weekly gardening show on a network
and you're gonna host it, you lucky kid, sign

They say the meek shall inherit You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it, and you a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em by and by

My future's starting I've got to let it
Stick with that plant, and gee, my bank account will thrive
What am I saying? No way! Forget it!
It's much too dangerous to keep that plant alive

I take these offers, that means more killing
Who knew success would come with messy, nasty strings?
I sign these contracts, that means I'm willing
to keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things

No! No! There's only so far you can bend
No! No! This nightmare must come to an end
No! No! You've got no alternative, Seymour old boy
Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed,
it's the only solution It can't be avoided:
the veg'table must be destroyed

But then there's Audrey, lovely Audrey
If life were tawdry and impov'rished as before,
she might not like me, she might not want me
Without my plant, she might not love me anymore

They say the meek shall inherit Where do I sign?
You know the book doesn't lie Right on the line
It's not a question of merit That'll do fine
It's not demand and supply This copy's mine
You'll make a fortune, we swear it, Couldn't go wrong
if on this fact you rely: Bye bye So long
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em,
you know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em,
you know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em
by and by