Gather 'round!
Punch and Judy,
Did it truly,
And were married in a haste,
In love, maybe,
Using the baby,
as a kind of romance paste,
She's grown fatter,
Her hair cut shorter,
Looks much older than nineteen,
He's a drinker,
Not a thinker,
Baby spoiled his could-have-been
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?

Punch and Judy
Punch and Judy,
In a semi,
On a brand new council plot,
Sunday lunchtime,
Beer-for-Punch time,
While his dinner's far from hot,
She grows tired,
Cab is hired,
She goes round to see her friend,
He comes back late,
Fool is irate,
We will see his temper bend
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
Punch and Judy,
In a quandary,
She's walked out, and he is mad
Now he's grown up,
Can't smash home up,
Retribution must be had
Punch and Judy,
Had a baby,
Who brought them to married bliss
Mr Punch,,
Has drunken hunch,
That he must punish kid for this
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
This must be make-believe,
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
Punch and Judy