Schools out, Christmas break
Home for the holiday's meatloaf and fruitcake
Off to grandmas, it's so boring
Screaming kids and grandpa's snoring
My aunt Margaret's lost her mind
She's trippin' on a train set, have another box of wine
It's gonna be a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas
I must be on Santa clauses shitlist
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now I'm sick of all my relatives
Have a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas
Uncle Richard he's a weirdo
Passing out pictures of himself in a Speedo
My cousin Ashley, her singing really sucks
Blames it on her drummer and acid reflux
My brother's wife is really hot
She pulled me in the bathroom; I hope we don't get caught
It's gonna be a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas
I must be on Santa clauses shitlist
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now I'm sick of all my relatives
Have a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas
We haven't even opened our presents yet but now it's time to start
So I'll fake a smile ‘cause it's going back to Wal-Mart
It's gonna be a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas
I must be on Santa clauses shitlist
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now I'm sick of all my relatives
Have a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas