I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you
Than go to the pictures or the zoo
I'm very daft at dancing, at moonlight or romancing
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you

I've never been one for billiards or darts
I'm much too shy to play a game of hearts
At dog tracks or the races I always lose my braces
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you

Here I am, a funny sort of guy, I wouldn't dare to hold your hand
Let's begin, maybe I'll let you win, I hope that you understand
Sitting around a table for two, that's the only thing I want to do
There's something cute about you, I couldn't do without you

Playing a simple game, tell me you feel the same
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you

I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you
Than take you to a French non-stop revue
It may not be so funny, but still it saves me money
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you

I haven't the manly figure for sports,
I never think I look my best in shorts
I lose my breath at biking and as for that mixed hiking
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you

One fine day, if luck should come my way, we'll have a little kitchenette
You and me, and when we've had our tea, I hope that you won't forget

Playing at noughts and crosses with you
That's the only way that I can woo
Though now you're far above me, in time you'll learn to love me
Isn't it bold and bad - but I feel a lad
Playing at noughts and crosses with you