I asked her what she wanted this year
For our anniversary
She thought about it long and hard,
And then she said to me,

"I'd really like a divorce
"Think I've finally had enough"
I said, "Honey, I wasn't planning on
"Spending quite that much"

Well, it's cheaper to keep her
Than it is to let her go
I just can't seem to say goodbye
To half of everything I own

Well, I'm damned if I do
And I'm damned if I don't
Yeah, it's cheaper to keep her
Than it is to let her go

She handed me some papers
That she wanted me to sign
She pulled out a pen
And pointed at that dotted line

It's not the thought of losing her
That really breaks my heart
You see, I'm in love with all my stuff
And that's the hardest part

Well, it's cheaper to keep her
Than it is to let her go
I just can't seem to say goodbye
To half of everything I own

Well, I'm damned if I do
And I'm damned if I don't
Well, it's cheaper to keep her
Than it is to let her go

I started thinking 'bout it, adding it up
The house, the boat, the car, the truck
When I see my attorney, gonna kick his butt
For talkin' me out of that damned prenup

Well, it's cheaper to keep her
Than it is to let her go
I just can't seem to say goodbye
To half of everything I own

Well, I'm damned if I do
And I'm damned if I don't
Yeah, it's cheaper to keep her
Than it is to let her go

Ain't goin' to let her go