I don't like poodles and potpourri
Pastel colors ain't good on me
I need a woman that I can squeeze
These are the things that I believe

I like John Wayne and overalls
Hate chick flicks and shopping malls
I thank God that I've got balls
A pickup truck, a texas drawl

I don't like flowers and fancy wine
Or talking on that phone all the time
I don't like nothing near my behind
It's an exit, it suits me fine

Oh, these are all those reasons I ainit queer
(These are all the reasons he ain't queer)

I think two holes are better than one
If you ask me that's more fun
In 'n' out and then I'm done
Two guys kissing would make me run

I don't like sex on a fufu bed
Don't want to dance with a guy name Fred
I did it once and my face turned red
You saw the tapeenoughs been said

All my buddies we like to drink
Watching fights at the hockey rink
You won't catch me wearing pink
I like the fact that my dick don't stink

Oh, these are all the reasons I ain't queer
Don't be poking nothing near my rear, yeah
These are all the reasons
The crazy cuckoo reasons
These are all those reasons I ain't queer