Hey wait a minute, don't step on it
My toupee is out on the floor
Watch out for my mood ring, 18-button shirts
In all the latest designs
My all 12 astrological signs
But what's worse you know let me tell you about it

Trying to pass for 18
Is a tough thing to do
You can't make it in a disco
When you're 42

Been looking for love
Every disco in town
My wig's gettin shaky
My truss is slippin down

My wig fell off
Don't step on it out on the floor
My pacemaker's busted
My Poli-Grip won't hold no more

These girls laugh
At my fishnet shirt
When they call me grandpa
That really hurts

Look in the mirror
Didn't look 42
All that shakin and sweatin
I must have come unglued

My wig fell off
Hand my toupee to me
I'm quittin the disco
I'm almost 43

Hey look out buddy
Get off my wig
Oops I didn't realize
You was quite so big

Go ahead and keep it
Keep my mood ring too
But gimme back my dentures
Or I'll have to use kung fu

My wig fell off
Hand my toupee to me
I'm quittin the disco
I'm almost 43

My elevator shoes
My hip jewelry
Sell 'em at a yard sale somewhere

Anybody wanna buy all 12 astrological signs?
Anybody wanna buy 18-button shirts in all the latest designs?
Anybody wanna buy a wig?
You can have my wig for next to nothin

I'm quittin the disco
I'm quittin the disco y'all
I can't take it no more

Too much heartbreak, too much pain
Too much heartbreak, too much pain