Bring joy to the world; it's the thing to do
But the world does not revolve around you
Don't be a jerk
It's Christmas

There's a sign above the line that says "Express"
That means ten items or less
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas

Be nice to babies and animals, old folks too
Cuz that's how you'd like them to treat you
Use turn signals, don't screen my calls
Don't you wreck my house when you deck the halls

Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe
Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas

It's Christmas!

When others are talking never interrupt
Don't put people down or leave the toilet seat up
It's the time for family and holly and turkey
'Tis the season to be jolly not jerky (jolly not jerky)

Don't dig in the cereal box for goodness sakes
Take the prize and leave me nothing but flakes
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas

Santa brought nearly every gift on your list
Why whine about the one that he missed?
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas

It's Christmas!

Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas