I'm unfit for jury duty
I know policemen lie like me
But to tell tell the truth
I'm just not up to the responsibility

'Cause in my day to day life
The ultimate crime is to live in discontent
Looking at bad design and wasting my time
Growing too corpulent

The extent of the ultimate crime
Was driving incompetent
And the ultimate crime could pass for an accident
The ultimate crime, the ultimate crime

I am standing in the gallery
When they lead the client in
And they shave off all his hair
Until there's nothing left, but shining skull and skin

And I wake up sweating bullets
And the ultimate crime is to think it's just a dream
It happens all the time, out of sight, out of mind
No one can hear you scream

We invented the ultimate crime
For the ultimate punishment
And the ultimate crime was our greatest accomplishment
The ultimate crime, the ultimate crime

The ultimate crime was being irreverent
And the ultimate crime was
Dropping the sacrament
The ultimate crime, the ultimate crime

The ultimate crime was being too lenient
And the ultimate crime was being too ignorant
The ultimate crime, the ultimate crime
Is not to care