We started in the morning, carried well into the night
Throwing dirty dishes with all our might
It's a sad commentary on a marriage that has failed
I'm at home getting hammered, while she's out getting nailed

Police pulled into my trailer park
Domestic violence will cost you after dark
Late night with her boss, says they're trying to make a sale
I'm at home getting hammered, while she's out getting nailed

I'm at home drinking whiskey in my easy chair
Watching jerry Lawler pulling Andy Kauffman's hair
Had a suspicion, so I opened up her mail
I'm at home getting hammered, while she's out getting nailed
She used to bring me beer and love all over me
Right before I went on disability
My wiggler aint so straight, I got whiskey dick
She don't perk it up, cause her ankles got so thick

The moral of this story is sad but true,
I love to drink, and she loves to screw
Hobo's got a better life, out riding on the rails
I'm at home getting hammered while she's out getting nailed