She was the perfect woman, in every single way,
She made the sun shine brighter, and all my cares go away
She was the perfect woman, she was a gourmet chef,
They say that love is blind, well it's also deaf

Cause Helen Keller was the perfect woman, and no one understands,
Just how talented she was with her hands
God made her the perfect woman, I was the finishing touch
She was the perfect woman cause she didn't talk so much

She wanted to name the kids, so I finally let her,
It turned out horribly, chewabacca couldve done better RAAAAAA
But a guess it was alright, we had a boy and a girl
Just me and helen, uhhh-aaaa, and Earl!

Cuase helen keller was my miracle worker, I was her one-man-show,
I could walk around the house naked, and she wouldn't even know
Helen Keller was my perfect woman, I was her only need
She didn't mind the zits on my ass, it gave her more to read

It gave her more to read

She read poison ivy, she read acne, she read herpes, she read it all
She read goosebumps, she read blisters, she even read a basketball

Helen Keller was my perfect woman, but I don't think she cared
I played this song for her, she just sat there and stared
She was still my perfect woman, I was sort of a mess,
I asked her to marry me, she said, "UH-EE-OHHH!"