Join the cubs, see the world
Pay your subs, meet the girls
Sell your toys be reborn
They love a boy in uniform

37 wasted years
Closeting his greatest fears
Still in shorts and eating jelly
He used to come and fix our telly

Akela, Akela
I will do my best
Akela, you'll have heart failure
Get your hands out of my vest

The oldest joker in the pack
Knew how to fold a union jack
Bought me chocolate, cakes and sweets
All the Cadbury's Flakes that I could eat

Akela, Akela
I will do my best
Akela, you'll have heart failure
Get your hands out of my vest

You're a bachelor for Baden Powell
And you don't know where I've been
Take your spatula and your bathing towel
And go swear your allegiance to the queen

You'll get no badge for touching me
Bad health or inefficiency
Halitosis, poison breath
Or scaring little lonely boys to death

Akela, Akela
I will do my best
Akela, Akela
You've got to get me off your chest

Akela, Akela
I think that it's time to go
Hayla Shayla, see ya later
I'm only nine years old and the answer's, no

You're a bachelor for Baden Powell
And you don't know where I've been
So take your spatula and your bathing towel
And go swear your allegiance to the queen