Parody of "This Kiss" by Faith Hill (BN Chapman/R Lerner/A Roboff) Almo Music Corp (ASCAP)/Warner Timberlane(BMI)/Macy Place Music (ASCAP)
New lyrics by Cledus T Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music (SESAC)

I don't want another fruitcake,
I don't need another ugly tieNO!
Heard they had a sale on go karts
Down at Wal Mart
Ho ho a good buy
Got no money in my pocket
Can't believe it's Christmastime

It's the crowds that bug me
Stuck in traffic like this
It's kids causing a commotion
It's shop at your own risk

It's that Tickle Me Elmo,
It's (dang) un-find-able

Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
Un-shopp-able!
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!

It can make a feller uptight
I must have been to fifteen stores or more
All I wanted was a Lite Brite
But they sold out last nightof course
Time I buy my kids a swing set,
I'd be broke forevermore

Tis the season of givin'
Tis that time of year
Twas the night before Christmas,
Twas a pain in the rear
It's the credit card payment,
Its (ahhh) un-payable

Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
Return-able
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!

You'll see Santa hop the rooftops
Rudolph's nose will be glowin' so bright
There's a whole lot of parents losin' sleep
Nuthin' silent about this night

Oh, Christmas is pure promotion
Let us not forget why
We're all out shoppin'
We're all out buyin'

It's the off-key caroling
Grandma's mistletoe kiss
It's that one string of light bulbs
You can never get lit
It's that gallon of egg nog,
It's so (uhhh) undrinkable

Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
Decorate-able
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!

It's the things you buy me baby
It's the things I buy you darlin'yeah
It's the crowds that bug me
Stuck in traffic like this
It's kids causing a commotion
It's shop at your own risk

Its that Faith Hill CD
They're all sold out-able

Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
Beautiful
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!

It's the things you buy me baby
It's the things I buy you darlin'yeah