I go to college and make it so cool
I live in a dorm, and show off at the pool!
I go to the right clubs just to build an impression,
I black out thinking it will get me ahead

Well, my mission in life
Is to look good on paper
All I want is a slot
In some big corporation!

Belushi's my hero, i Lampoon and i ape him,
my news of the world comes from sports illustrated!
I'm proud of my trophies, like my empty beer cans,
stacked in rows up the wall to impress all my friends!

Well, i'm not here to learn!
I just want to get drunk!
And major in business!
And be taught how to F*ck! WOO!

Win, win! I always play to win!
I wanna fit in like a cog
in the faceless machine!

-Chorus-:
I'm a terminal, terminal preppie!
terminal, terminal preppie!
terminal, terminal, terminal!

I want a wife with tits!
Who just smiles all the time
In my centerfold world
Filled with Springsteen and wine
Some day I'll have power
Some day I'll have boats
A tract in some suburb
With Thanksgivings to host

CHORUS