Well I ain't been home for so doggone long I almost forgot where I come from
Ain't got no money but I still ain't a bum I'm almost nearly but not quite plum
A back last summer down by the sea I seen a pretty girl in ---
I snapped my fingers said son of a gun she's almost nearly but not quite plum
Some people wonder how I live sometimes I pick sometimes I give
People say I'm a bum I'm almost nearly but not quite plum

I met a pretty girl up in Chicago she said honey baby I love you so
She begged me to stay and not act like a bum
I've been almost nearly but not quite plum
Friends ask me why I don't take a wife settle down to a married life
They say it's good as most and it's better than some
I say I'm almost nearly but not quite plum
Some people wonder how I live
[ guitar ]
Just the other night out in Tucson I had a little date with a great big blonde
I took her home she said didn't we have fun hmm almost nearly but not quite plum
When it's time for the final date with old Saint Pete's at the pearly gate
He'll say I hope you're ready for your time's come
I'll say I'm almost nearly but not quite plum
Some people wonder how I live