What makes you think I'm crazy about you?
What makes you think I can't do without you?
I've looked you over carefully
And if I never see you again, it's soon enough for me
I hate the ground you walk upon
I hate the phone you talk upon
I hate 'most ev'rything that you do
I hate that funny little mouth you drink with
That peanut on your shoulders that you think with
I hate the rouge upon your lips
The polish on your finger tips
I hate your eyes of heavenly blue
I hate the way you sigh, honest I do
Outside of that, I love you

[Female version:]
I hate the way you comb your hair
I hate the flashy clothes you wear
I hate the patent shine on your shoe
I hate the closet that you keep your clothes in
I hate the handkerchief you blow your nose in
I hate the smell of your cigar
The way you lean against a bar
I hate the jokes you tell that are blue
I hate that fancy tie, honest I do
Outside of that, I love you