There are no churches, no church bells in my new religion
There is no Heaven and no Hell in my new religion
For I believe in you and me
We can live our lives quite decently
Completely superstition free in my new religion
Completely superstition free in my new religion

And there are no collection plates in my new religion
No pedophiles or pearly gates in my new religion
There's just a bedroom and a bed
Where we can rest our lusty heads
We'll dine on wine and daily bread in my new religion
We'll dine on wine and daily bread in my new religion

For I believe in logic and reason
I believe in the love in our hearts
I believe in the changing of the seasons
And Heaven is wherever we are when we're together
And Hell is when we have to be apart
When we're apart

So don't worry about Apocalypse in my new religion
Just clap your hands and shake your hips in my new religion
Oh, we are kind and generous
We never want to make a fuss
We treat other people like we wish that they'd treat us in my new religion
We treat other people like we wish that they'd treat us in my new religion

There are no creepy undergarments in my new religion
No dietary restrictions in my new religion
No aliens or angels in my new religion
No fire and no brimstone in my new religion
No crusades or inquisitions in my new religion
Only multiple positions in my new religion

For we treat other people like we wish that they'd treat us in my new religion