Dear Penis,
I don't think I like you anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all u do is stare at the floor
Oh dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore

It used to be you and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that you're the one to blame
Dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore

Now he sings,

Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like you anymore,
'Cause when u get to drinkin'
You put me places I've never been before
Dear Rodney,
I don't like you anymore

Why can't we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship
Come to terms with truly how we feel
If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever
Dear Penis,
I think I like you after all

Oh and Rodney,
While yer shavin',
Shave my balls