When I was 8 years old,
Before puberty took hold,
I thought I'd end up beside a princess bride,
And love was indivisible
Never mind how my taste reflects
A disturbing Oedipal complex
It's not awkward, girl,
The compliments are coming next

You're no witch, you're no wench
You're like Bjork with better fashion sense
A phone; 50 cents,
And I'm building up my confidence
Respect to your work,
You're an artist; I'm a silly jerk
I think that dynamic could work,
So work it

I have a total crush on you, baby,
And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on you, baby
Baby, if only I could let you know

When we spoke, no joke,
I started shedding slutty girls,
Like snake skin My collection,
Acquired through shallow misdirection
And as I try tonight,
The west coast sky is daring me to try
I feel alive tonight;
Possibility that I'm your guy

Though, I suffer from dyslexia
And mild manorexia
And my hair cannot commit
To one popular genre of music
And though they all claim
That a girl can't take the boys last name
In the divorce, then it's strange
I'm counting on you

I have a total crush on you, baby,
And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on you, baby
Baby, if only I could

Your other suitors are no poets,
They're only actors who can play guitar;
Have I won your heart?
They're not suited towards screen-writers,
They're only models that they taught to read,
Of which you agree

Yea! Alright,

I have a total crush on you, baby,
And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on you, baby
Baby, if only I could

Quite sure you love me, Sherri
Quite sure I love you too
We should make a verbal agreement
To only kiss each other
Because one time,
Beneath the sky,
Outside my New York pig-sty,
I saw a vision of you and I
Ha ha!

Did it hurt?
Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl
Did it hurt?
Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl

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