+Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh
(A Letter From Camp)
Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh,
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining,
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining
I went hiking with Joe Spivey
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner
All the counselors hate the waiters,
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies,
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses
Now I don't want this should scare ya,
But my bunk mate has malaria
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party
Take me home, oh Muddah, Fadduh,
Take me home, I hate Granada,
Don't leave me out here in the forest, where
I might get eaten by a bear
Take me home, I promise I will not make noise,
Or mess the house with other boys
Oh please don't make me stay,
I've been here one whole day
Dearest Fadduh, darling Muddah,
How's my precious little Bruddah?
Let me come home if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kis me
Wait a minute, it stopped hailing
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's better
Muddah, Fadduh, kindly disregard this letter!