The Humours of Whiskey

Let your quacks and newspapers be cuttin' their capers
And curing the Vapours, the Scratch and the Gout
With their medical potions, their pills and their lotions,
Upholdin' their notions, they're mighty put out
Who can tell the true physic of all things pathetic
And pitch to the Devil Cramp, Colic and Spleen?
Oh you'll find them I think if you take a big drink
With your mouth to the brink of a jug of Poteen

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys
Oh what botherations no bolt to the nation
Can bring consolation like Poteen me boys
No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic
Or ladies pathetic can bring such a bloom
As the sweet, by the powers to the garden of flowers
Never brought it own powers such a darlin' perfume
And this liquid's so rare if you're willin' to share
To be takin' your hair when its grizzled and dead
Oh the Sod has the merit to yield the true spirit
So strong it'll shake all the hairs from your head

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys
Oh since its perfection no doctor's direction
Can cleanse the complexion like Poteen me boys
As a child in my cradle the nurse from her ladle
Was swillin' her mouth with a notion of ''Pep''
When a drop from her bottle fell into me throttle
I capered and scrambled right out of her lap
On the floor I lay crawlin' and screamin' and bawlin'
Till Father and Mother soon came to the fore
Conceived I lay dying, all wailing and crying
They found I was only a-cryin' for more

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys
Oh Lord how I'd chuckle if babes in their truckle
Could only be suckled on Poteen me boys
Through youthful digressions and times of depression
My childhood impression still clung to me mind
In school and in college the basis of knowledge
I never could gulp 'till with whiskey combined
Now as older I'm growin', time's ever bestowin'
On Erin's potation a flavour so fine
And how e're they may lecture on Jove and his nectar
Itself is the only true liquid divine

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys
Oh Lord it's the right thing for courtin' and fightin'
There's nowt so exciting as Poteen me boys
Come guess me this riddle what beats pipes and fiddle
What's hotter than mustard and wilder than cream?
What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal
Smoother than honey and stronger than steam?
What'll make the dumb talk, what'll make the lame walk --
The elixir of life and philosopher's stone?
And what helped Mr Brunell to dig the Thames tunnel
Wasn't it Poteen me boys from old Innishowen

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys
Oh Lord knows I wonder if lightning and thunder
Was made from the plunder of Poteen me boys!

@Irish @drink
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