Today I'll start a zine, my views will change the scene
Everything that I write, will surely change their minds
First I will make them laugh, and make them want to read
My reviews are excellent, interviews are in-depth!

Pictures are glossy, and a list of shows
Now I have to sell some ads, so I can make some cash
Production run is now complete, first issue is out
Now I will spread the word, to gain praise of the hard work I have done

Copies are moving fast, issue one is sold out!
Promos are piling in, labels want to advertise
Go to shows to promote

Everyday life is getting better, with a shot of beer
Hanging out with the bands I love to hear
On the phone with label reps, boy this life is the best!

Working harder, more hours everyday
Magazine is improving in every way
Punctuation is now complete, vocabulary expanded,
They love the new me

A few years go by, and still I write
This magazine consumes my life
Always looking for the next big thing
The scene kind of suck Life is all the same,
But still I try to satisfy the readers who subscribe!
Every hour dissipates from me
My computer keeps freezing up!

Deadlines suck, contributors take forever,
Another metal fest, there's never anywhere to sit!

Dealing with accountants about bounced checks
Or being bribed for a good review
If I speak my mind you won't like what I've got to say
Same old job, same old house
My life is redundant