Performed by Stockard Channingby:

Look at me I'm Sandra Dee
Lousy with virginity
Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed
I can't I'm Sandra Dee

Watch it! Hey, I'm Doris Day
I was not brought up that way
Won't come across even Rock Hudson lost
His heart to Doris Day

I don't drink I swear
I don't rat my hair
I get ill from one cigarette
Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers
Would you pull that crap with Annette?

As for you Troy Donahue
I know what you wanna do
You've got your crust I'm no object of lust
I'm just plain Sandra Dee

Elvis, Elvis, let me be
Keep that pelvis far from me
Just keep your cool now your starting to drool

Hey, Fongul, I'm Sandra Dee