If we were the captain you will know what we'd do.
We'd make a few changes we'd bend a few rules.
If they put us in charge, what a difference we'd make.
We'd soon have this crew in tip-top shiftshape.

Chorus:
If we ran the Navy you'll know what we'd do.
We'd make a few changes and bend a few rules.
That's the least we could do.

The food in the Navy you might say it's all right.
We'd make Tuesdays our own pizza night.
And when we're at sea, why drive this so slow?
Get out the skis see how fast we can go.

Chorus

And what's with those pants? Bellbottoms indeed!
They went out with disco and treed.
We need to look stylish when we visit strange ports.
Nothing too flashy in green neon shorts.

Chorus

A few simple changes is all that we'd make.
Did we mention each meal would be full of fun cake?
The paint on the ship, it's the least we can do,
Let's change it from gray to red, white, and blue.

If we ran the Navy you'll know what we we'd do.
We'd make a few changes and bend a few rules.
That's the least we could...

Do-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooo.

That's the least we could do.