By Roger Brown and Donald Pleasence

WHEN I SPOKE TO HIM IN CHINA, THE TRAGOPAN SAID,
I DON'T WANNA NIGGLE, BUT I THINK I'LL SOON BE DEAD
IF THEY CHOP DOWN THE TREES I'LL HAVE NOWHERE TO HIDE,
ALONG WILL COME A HUNTER AND HE'LL TAKE ME BY SURPRISE
LET'S SING A SONG FOR THE TRAGOPAN,
THE PHEASANT WHO CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT EASE
DON'T LET THEM CHOP DOWN THE TREES THAT HE'LL NEED,
THE TRAGOPAN CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT LEAVES
LAST SEEN IN CHINA, THE TRAGOPAN SAID,
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF THEY TOOK AWAY YOUR BED,
CLOSED UP YOUR GARAGE AND PULLED OUT THE PHONE,
TOOK AWAY THE DEEP FREEZE AND LEFT YOU ALL ALONE?
LET'S SING A SONG FOR THE TRAGOPAN,
THE PHEASANT WHO CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT EASE
DON'T LET THEM CHOP DOWN THE TREES THAT HE'LL NEED,
THE TRAGOPAN CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT LEAVES
LET'S SING A SONG FOR THE TRAGOPAN,
THE PHEASANT WHO CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT EASE
DON'T LET THEM CHOP DOWN THE TREES THAT HE'LL NEED,
THE TRAGOPAN CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT LEAVES
DON'T LET THEM CHOP DOWN THE TREES THAT HE'LL NEED,
THE TRAGOPAN CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT LEAVES
DON'T LET THEM CHOP DOWN THE TREES THAT HE'LL NEED,
THE TRAGOPAN CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT LEAVES

DIALOG:
SCOUSE WAS LEARNING ENGLISH HE WAS LEARNING ENGLISH FROM THE TELEVISION AT NIGHT, WHEN THE FAMILY HAD GONE TO BED, HE PRETENDED TO BE A SINGER HE IMAGINED HE WAS WITH THE JOLLY FAMILY ON THE TELEVISION SCREEN HE WROTE A SONG
AS HE SANG HIS SONG, HE PRETENDED THE JOLLIES WERE WITH HIM, PLAYING HIS MUSIC