Lemme tell you 'bout your stupid boyfriend
He's a loser and you know it's true
I know you'll be disheartened if you lose him
But this is something I just have to do
'Cause I've loved you since the day I first saw you
Grace the floorboards of a Punk Rock Show (sorry Norb)
And I truly, absolutely adore you
So you understand, he has to go

I don't know exactly how to tell you this
I'm gonna kill your boyfriend
I don't know exactly how to pull it off but
He's gotta go and you've gotta be my girl!

Lemme tell you bout the things I'll give you
I'll tell you all the things you want to hear
Like about the times I kissed your picture
And these feelings I get when you're near
This obsession's got me pining for you
It's unhealthy yeah, I gotta say
But that Motherfucker really loves you
So that Motherfucker has to pay

[Chorus]