Hey, can we have your autograph?
My autograph?
Im nobody
But wait a minute

Ive got 36 expressions
Sweet as pie to tough as leather
And thats six expressions more
Than all the barrymores put together
Only six?

Instead of kicking me
I dont think they give me a lift
I think its a plot
cause theyre scared that I got
Such a gift, Im miffed

cause Im the greatest star
I am by far, but nobody knows it
Wait, theyre gonna hear a voice
A silver flute
Theyll cheer each toot
When I expose it

Cant you see the look at me
That Im a natural camille?
As camille I just feel
I have so much to offer
I know Ill be divine because
Im a natural cougher

Some aint got it, not a lump
She a great big clump of talent
Laugh, theyll bend in half

Did I tell the story about the traveling salesman?
A thousand laughs
Stick around for em folks
A thousand faces, I reiterate
When youre gifted
Then youre gifted

These are facts, I have no axe to grind
Hey, what are they blind
In all of the world so far
Im the greatest star

Who is the pip with pizazz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?

Whos an american beauty rose
With that american beauty nose
And ten american beauty toes

Eyes on the target and wham
One shot, one gun shot and bam
Hey, world, here I am!

Im the greatest star
I am by far
But nobody knows it
Thats why I was born
Ill blow my horn
till somebody hears it

Ill light up like a light
Right up like a light
Ill flicker and flare up
All the worlds gonna stare up
Looking down
Youll never see