Listen boys and girls
About the other world
It's just a day jo
Night jo
Odd jo
Nose jo
Hand jo
Blow jo
Rack jo
Snow jo
Boring 9-to-5 jo
Rather have a knob jo

Things get too inertial
No time for commercials
I'd rather be a clone
I guess I'm going home
To visit Kojak
Gong Show
Happy Days
Adam-12
Edge Of Night
Love Of Life
Merv and Mike
Good Times
Make A Deal
Charlie's Angels
Family Feud

Feeling so much thinner
I need a TV dinner

I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore

TV suicide
TV suicide
What a lovely way to die
It's a television suicide

Please stand by
We're coming to you live
'Cause we got news
Hot news
Flash news
Trash news
Funny news
Stupid news
Comprehensive overviews
Eyewitness TV news
Brought to you by Gucci shoes

This one is so juicy
We're pre-empting Lucy

Coming down the street
The sound of running feet
He's at the front door
Back door
Side door
Cellar door
First floor
Second floor
Third floor
Bedroom door
Throws himself across the floor
Turns it on to Channel 4

Stay tuned to this channel
For our all-star panel

I used to know him
He seemed like a regular guy

TV suicide
TV suicide
What a lovely way to die
It's another case of telecide

TV suicide
TV suicide
What a lovely way to die
It's a television suicide