How Can I Keep From Swinging
Craig Johnson

Our life flows on, an endless song
Of tedium and frustration
With love grown old, and sex grown cold
What's left for recreation?
And so we slumber by the tube,
ButHark! The doorbell's ringing
It's Bob and Sal and Ted and Sue
How can we keep from swinging?

We'll take a drink to loosen up
And have some conversation,
Then intermingle on the floor
And practise fornication
So you grab mine and I'll take yours
While Manilow is singing
By Golly! Did I lock the doors?
How can we keep from swinging?

Since these new friends have come our way
Our lifestyle's been most frightening;
Mazola parties every day,
And Kama Sutras nightly
There's videos and Polaroids
While lingerie we're flinging
Creative use of chocolate fudge
How can we keep from swinging?

So you do mine and I'll do yours,
And we'll do one another
Why not invite the folks nest door?
And likewise Dad and Mother?
And when the months have passed away
And we're left sore and stinging,
We'll wish Aunt Mabel hadn't come
How can we keep from swinging?
from Bill Day's singing
@parody @HARMONY @sex
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