Alarm goes off at seven and you start uptown
You put in your eight hours for the powers that have always been
(Sing it, child) Till it's five PM

Then you go downtown where the folks are broke
You go down downtown where your life's a joke
You go downtown, where you buy your toke 'n' you go *
home to skid row (Home to skid row)

Yes, you go downtown where the cabs don't stop
Downtown where the food is slop
Downtown, where the hopheads flop in the snow
Down on skid row

Uptown you cater to a million jerks
Uptown you're messengers and mailroom clerks
eating all your lunches at the hot dog carts
The bosses take your money and they break your hearts

And uptown you cater to a million whores
You disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors
The job's are really menial You'll make no bread
And then at five o'clock you'll head (by subway)

Downtown where the guys are drips
Downtown where they rip your slips
Downtown where relationships are no go
Down on skid row (Down on skid row)
Down on skid row (Down on skid row)
Down on skid row (Down on skid row)
Down on skid row

Poor, all my life I've always been poor
I keep asking God what I'm for,
and he tells me "Gee, I'm not sure
Sweep that floor, kid"

Oh, I started life as an orphan, a child of the street here on skid row
He took me in, gave me shelter, a bed, crust of bread and a jo
Treats me like dirt Calls me a slob, which I am

So I live downtown That's your home address
You live downtown when your life's a mess
You live downtown where depressions' jes' status quo
Down on skid row

Someone show me a way to get outa here,
'cause I constantly pray I'll get outa here
Please, won't somebody say I'll get outa here
Someone gimme my shot or I'll rot here

Show me how and I will, Downtown, there's no rules for us
I'll get outa here
I'll start climbin' uphill Downtown, 'cause it's dangerous
and get outa here
Someone tell me I still Downtown where the rainbow's just a no show
could get outa here
Someone tell lady luck ------------When you live
that I'm stuck here
Gee, it sure would be swell downtown where the sun don't shine
to get outa here,
bid the gutter farewell Downtown past the bottom line
and get outa here
I'd move heaven and hell Downtown Go ask any wino He'll know
to get outa skid,
I'd do I dunno what Downtown
to get outa skid,
but a hell of a lot Downtown
to get outa skid,
people tell me there's not Downtown---------Skid row
a way outa skid,
but believe me, I've gotta
get outa skid row

*The book listed this as "When you buy your token you go", but
I just don't believe that's what is being sung

Da-Doo

Da-doo, (spoken)I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that
day,
shoop da-doo, and I passed by this place where this old Chinese man,
chang da-doo, he sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings,
snip da-doo, 'cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby
da da da da da da-doo He didn't have anything unusual there that day

Nope, da-doo, so I was just about to, ya know, walk on by,
good for you, when suddenly,
good for you and without warning, there was this total eclipse of the
sun

It got very dark and there was this strange humming
sound like something from another world
Da-doo, And when the light came back this weird plant was just
sitting there,
whoop-see-doo just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias
Audrey Two I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before,
but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways,
for a dollar ninety-five
Sha la la, la la la, la la la loo