It's just a little biddy tool I've had since I was just a boy, That me grandad taught me how to use bring other people joy, Now I can fix most anything so jus...

It's ailment of the eighties sorta high tech sexual rabies, Some you catch from ladies who've probably caught it from a yank, It seems the way it's goin' and ...

Hey Santa claus you cunt! Where's me fucking bike? I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like I wrote you a fucking letter and I come...

HELLO OPERATOR I'D LIKE TO MAKE A CALL CAN I HAVE 477 3104? I'M SORRY SIR, COULD YOU REPEAT THAT NUMBER ONCE AGAIN? 477 3104, DID YA GET IT THEN? COULD YOU SPEA...

You see it on the telly, all the shows about police, "Yeah real life stuff with blood and guts that show it like it is"' The poms have got the Sweeney, "The y...

(Chorus) Ho ho fucking ho, What a crock o' shit, We all work for Santa Claus, We've had enough, we quit. Cos we do all the fuckin' work while he stars in th...

Verse 1 Blown too much of me time buying dinner and wine And me money on flowers and lollies Only to find that what's on me mind Isn't on hers and she's sorry S...

It wouldn't be Kristmas without snow It wouldn't be Kristmas without snow You'll know Santa's coming when you hear him ho ho ho It wouldn't be Kristmas without ...

Chorus You ask me if I know Manuel the bandito I know Manuel well and you know Manuel is the meanest and toughest and cruelest Bandito in all Meh-ico Many men ...

Tonight, I'm sittin' watchin', old home videos, Wonderin' what to keep, and what to throw away, 'Cause when you left, you left 'em with me, And I think I've ...

Verse 1 There's an uptown party on tonight that we're invited to All the jet-set people there with the finest wine and food Sip some champagne, snort some coke ...

Good morning operator, I'd like to make a call, could I have 4 double seven 3 1 zero 4 I'm sorry sir I missed that, could you repeat just what you said FOUR d...

She said thank you For the brand new super duper dildo Super duper dildo You say that it's the biggest one they had Super duper dildo Well I'm PMT and if that's...

Tears and snot, and lots and lots Of soggy soggy tissues, Careful now, just where you walk, Or they'll stick to your new shoes, My heart has kicked the shit ...

I've come to the conclusion, 'cause I get around a bit, That half of what you read is bull and the other half's all shit, And the truth is really nothin' like...

Verse School holidays were draggin' on He was gettin' really bored And his Mum had started poppin' pills She was climbin' up the walls So when he asked her cou...

Robbo was me knock about mate and a funny bastard too, There weren't a thing that I don't reckon Robbo couldn't do, He'd pull on near on anything he could to ...