(Slamer, Broughton, Mason)

(The patient): Oh Doctor, Doctor, soothe my aching knee Higher, higher if you please
I'm sure my temperature's running so low I could freeze Have you got something to warm me
(And the Doctor said) I'm sure the council will admit I'm in a fix
See my point of view for sure
They'll say "We know its hard" then strike me off the list
After all its not L'amour I can't risk no more During surgery hours
(The patient): Oh Doctor, Doctor
Oh Doctor, Doctor
Oh Doctor, Doctor My husband works at night, And I can't sleep without the light
You see it gets so dark it worries me sometimes I get this aching in my side
(And the Doctor said) I'm sure an aspirin will satisfy your needs
For who knows where a massage leads
Your insomnia kept me awake last week
Your Doctor diagnoses greed, greed, greed, greed I can't risk no more
During surgery hours

Oh Doctor, Doctor
Oh Doctor, Doctor
Oh Doctor, Doctor, soothe my aching knee, higher, higher, if you please
I'm sure my temperature's running so low I could freeze
Have you got something to warm me

Oh Doctor, Doctor
Oh Doctor, Doctor (etc)