[JACK]

There were object so peculiar
They were not to be believed
All around, things to tantalize my brain

It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen
And as hard as I try
I can't seem to describe
Like a most improbable dream

But you must believe when I tell you this
It's as real as my skull and it does exist
Here, let me show you

This is a thing called a present
The whole thing starts with a box

[DEVIL]

A box?
Is it steel?

[WEREWOLF]

Are there locks?

[HARLEQUIN DEMON]

Is it filled with a pox?

[DEVIL, WEREWOLF, HARLEQUIN DEMON]

A pox
How delightful, a pox

[JACK]

If you pleae
Just a box with bright-colored paper
And the whole thing's topped with a bow

[WITCHES]

A bow?
But why?
How ugly
What's in it?
What's in it?

[JACK]

That's the point of the thing, not to know

[CLOWN]

It's a bat

[CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS]

Will it bend?

[CLOWN]

It's a rat

[CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS]

Will it break?

[UNDERSEA GAL]

Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake

[JACK]

Listen now, you don't understand
That's not the point of Christmas land

Now, pay attention
Now we pick up an over-sized sock
And hang it like this on the wall

[MR HYDE]

Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot?

[MEDIUM MR HYDE]

Let me see, let me look

[SMALL MR HYDE]

Is it rotted and covered with gook?

[JACK]

Hmm, let me explain
There's no foot inside, but there's candy
Or sometimes it's filled with small toys

[MUMMY AND WINGED DEMON]

Small toys

[WINGED DEMON]

Do they bite?

[MUMMY]

Do they snap?

[WINGED DEMON]

Or explode in a sack?

[CORPSE KID]

Or perhaps they just spring out
And scare girls and boys

[MAYOR]

What a splendid idea
This Christmas sounds fun
Why, I fully endorse it
Let's try it at once

[JACK]

Everyone, please now, not so fast
There's sometihng here that you don't quite grasp
Well, I may as well give them what they want

And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last
For the ruler of this Christmas land
Is a fearsome King with a deep mighty voice
Least that's what I've come to understand

And I've also heard it told
That's he's something to behold
Like a lobster, huge and red
And sets out to slay with his rain gear on
Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms
That is, so I've heard it said

And on a darkm cold night
Under full moonlight
He flies into a fog
Like a vulture in the sky
And they call him Sandy Claws

Well, at least they're excited
Though they don't understand
That special lind of feeling in Christmas land
Oh, well