The samples won't delay
But the cable
There's another way
Say something, anything

Test, one, two, three
Anything but that

This is weird
It's weird, very weird
Fuckin' weird
I'm so mad that I don't know what to do

Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off
I'm with you

Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking
Of drinking gasoline?

As a matter of fact
Honey, I know this act
It's called
The 'Tango Maureen'

The Tango Maureen
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling
You're wrong, you're heart she is mangling

It's different with me
And you toss and you turn
'Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

I think I know what you mean
The Tango Maureen

Has she ever pouted her lips
And called you 'Pookie'? Never
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?
This is spooky

Did you swoon when
She walked through the door?
Every time
So be cautious

Did she moon
Over other boys?
More than moon
I'm getting nauseous

Where'd you learn to tango?
With the French Ambassador's daughter
In her dorm room at Miss Porter's
And you?

With Nanetter Himmelfar
The Rabbi's daughter at
The Scarsdale Jewish
Community Center

It's hard to do this backwards
You should try it in heels

She cheated
She cheated
Maureen cheated
Fuckin' cheated

I'm defeated
I should give up right now
Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might

I'd fall for her still anyhow
When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance
Her grip of romance makes you fall

So you think, might as well
Dance a tango to hell
At least I'll have tangoed at all
The Tango Maureen

Gotta dance 'til your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
'Cause in the end, you can't leave her
But the end it will come

Still you have to play dum
'Til you're glum and you bum and turn blue

Why do we love when she's mean?
And she can be so obscene

My Maureen
The Tango Maureen