Goodmornin' Da, oh I'm in jail
I don't need you to try for bail
If I know Ma, she'll scream and wail,
So just lock me up and throw away the keys

Well goodbye to my own Dublin dear,
And goodbye to old St Brigid's there
Well I wasn't born with this, but now I got it like the flu
I'm fuckin' useless, so what's the point of impressing you?

Goodmornin' Da, oh I'm in jail
I don't need you to try for bail
If I know Ma, she'll scream and wail,
So just lock me up and throw away the keys

Well, I'd only fifteen pints but I could not see,
When them damn skites got a hold of me
Well, I could say it was the whiskey, oh, but that it may not be
Or just the prospect here of something else to do

Goodmornin' Da, oh I'm in jail
I don't need you to try for bail
If I know Ma, she'll scream and wail,
So just lock me up and throw away the keys

Well I've always been a problem child,
And I know that I have been too wild
I wasn't born with this, but now I got it like the flu
I'm fuckin' useless, so what's the point of impressing you?

Goodmornin' Da, oh I'm in jail
I don't need you to try for bail
If I know Ma, she'll scream and wail,
So just lock me up and throw away the keys