Oh I never sneeze when you're around,
and you never think I have a cold,
but when I'm all alone I I Ityshoo I need,
you and a box of handkerchiefs

My nose never runs when you're around,
and you never think I have the flu,
but when I really do I I Ityshoo I need,
you and a box of handkerchiefs

I catch a cold easy
when I'm feeling sneezy,
what I really need's a box of handkerchiefs to please me
It's you I need, you and a box of handkerchiefs

Everytime I go out I get the flu,
I'm okay one minute then I start sneezing again,
I sneeze here I sneeze there I'm always sneezing everywhere

Oh I never sniff when you're around,
and you never think I'm really ill,
oh but I tell you still I I Ityshoo I need,
you and a box of handkerchiefs