They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant
It's all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I'm in every evening serving chowder and ice tea

Shoulda gone to free credit report dot com [hee haw]
I coulda seen this comin' at me like an atom bom
They monitor your credit and send you e-mail alerts
So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts