This song is one of sadness, 'bout the crap that comes my way
Fuckin' misery and madness, 'bout a bill that I can't pay
I sits here in the dark alone, not by fuckin' choice
So I reaches for that dog & bone, to hear a sexy voice

And I got 0898 don't it make 'ewe wristache fever
When I'm pissed off then I just rings Geneva
There's a bird out in Uganda, to fuckin' all sorts she'll panda
I got 0898 don't it make 'ewe wristache fever

(voice) Your calling credit is running low, please arrange a top-up

FACK OFF

Now every time I rings a tart, it costs me all my dosh
They don't seem to know my name so I said "OW, it's mosh"
They gives me all the love I crave with they constant sexy chatter
Now I'm just a terrible slave in love with some old slapper

And I got 0898 don't it make 'ewe wristache fever
When I'm pissed off then I just rings Geneva
There's a bird out in Uganda, to fuckin' all sorts she'll panda
I got 0898 don't it make 'ewe wristache fever

Ow, I'll never forget the embarrasement the first time my father
caught me doing it
Yesterday,
he said "'ewe'll go blind, I said "I'm over here you twat"

I waste my giro all away and I've stopped going out nickin'
I'm wasting each and every day to hear some cow stuffin' chickens
Don't linger on that dog & bone, for fuck sake get a life
Don't spend 'ewe evenings all alone, nip out and shag next doors wife

'coz I got 0898 don't it make 'ewe wristache fever
When I'm pissed off then I just rings Geneva
There's a bird out in Uganda, to fuckin' all sorts she'll panda
I got 0898 don't it make 'ewe wristache fever

I have

I got 0898 don't it make 'ewe wristache fever
When I'm pissed off then I just rings Geneva
There's a bird out in Uganda, to fuckin' all sorts she'll panda
I got 0898 don't it make 'ewe wristache, 0898 there's a call I
gotta make, 0898 don't it make 'ewe wristache fever

Now FACK OFF I wants a wank

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