You were talking to yourself while everyone was indicating,
You were watching movies on TV

You were playing with yourself while everyone was ovulating,
You were masturbating to TV

Please don't text me on the phone, my VCR at home, please work
Please don't e-mail me past nine, 'cause I met someone online and,
I'm in an online world beyond

You were talking to yourself while everyone was spent in bed,
And you were picture framing your e-mails

You were playing with yourself while everyone was giving head,
And you were contemplating on G-mail

(Chorus)

Oh, the internet is real
Oh, the internet is everything in my life

(Chorus)

You were talking to yourself while everyone was fornicating,
And you were all alone in your bedroom