The Reverend Mother went and got me a drink
She came back and said to me "Well what do you think?"
I said "I've made myself a fool
For the naughtiest girl in school"

How can I deal with this hurt I feel inside?
I tell it to the mother of the bride

I put on my suit and smile for the big day
But I couldn't watch as her dad gave her away
And as the solemnly said "You'll do"
Her mother said "That should have been you"

At the mercy of the moon
The boy who spoke too soon

She married him and destroyed all my hopes
Of a two-up
two-down
two point five and a dish on the roof
For the soaps
I saw them at the hardware store
He looked boring and she looked bored

It's nice to know that someone was on my side
Best wishes to the mother of the bride