A telephone book printed in Chinese
Food for a dog that decided to leave
Shoes for a wife I never quite wed
The ringing of words I shouldn't have said

These are things, things in my room
These are things I can do without
These are things, things in my room
These are things I was wrong about

In the best world
In the best of all possible worlds
I'm making a list
Of things that wouldn't be missed, uh-huh

The envy I feel for this years winners
The scales on my eyes, the splints on my fingers
Fears that I can't seem to put to bed
Of scary monsters somewhere up ahead

These are things, things in my life
These are things I can do without
These are things, things in my life
These are things I was wrong about

In the best world
In the best of all possible worlds
I'm making a list
Of things that wouldn't be missed, uh-huh
In the best world
In the best of all possible worlds

I'm writing down some things I've found
That I don't want to have around me
But the bigger they get, the more help I'll need

There are things, things in this world
There are things we can do without
There are things, things in this world
There are things we were wrong about

In the best world
In the best of all possible worlds
I'm making a list
Of things that wouldn't be missed, uh-huh
In the best world
In the best of all possible worlds
I'm making a list
Of things that wouldn't be missed, uh-huh
In the best world
In the best of all possible worlds
In the best world
In the best of all possible worlds, in the best world