Cornography
(featuring James Burton & the Kung Pao Buckaroos)
Written by Brad Paisley, Frank Rogers and Peter Tilden

The Grand Old Op'ry Theatre proudly presents:
Cornography
Kung Pao!
Episode two: The continuing adventures of the Kung Pao buckaroos

The three cowboys needed a place to bed down for the night
So I suggested the establishment of Miss Kitty May,
(Or she may not)
A former love and a woman of questionable repute

So they walked into the saloon and asked for Miss Kitty
And just then, they heard a voice sayin:
"Hi, boys You lookin' for these"
And the littlest cowboy turned around to see two huge 38s pointed right at his face
(Jimmy, you can't say that!)
(What? She had huge guns)
Smith and Wesson revolvers
Oh boy, were they loaded

Cornography

She's aiming them right at us
(Softer, George, it's more effective)
She's aiming them right at us
Everybody duck!
Not you, Jimmy You stand up normal

They dropped the money they owed her, an' she bent over to pick it up,
And, oh, that moon was beautiful
(Now Jimmy, you can't say that!)
Out the window I couldn't see it till then George:
There were mountains in the way

Cornography

"You guys are gonna get in trouble for this"
That woman sure chaps my
Ask her out then
I think he's got a little thing for her, George
(Louder, Bill, it's more effective)
I think he's got a little thing for her, George
It's not THAT little
(That was worth a three or four, Bill)
All, right, Jimmy, let's get serious now

So the little cowboy was tryin' not to act too excited
But when I look at a woman that beautiful, it's hard
(Jimmy!!!)
What? It's very difficult
I hope they're not recordin' this
Yeah
Ah

Cornography

An' I said: "Little cowgirl, how would you like a little cowpoke?"
"Here we go"
Ooh yeah Need a little buckaroo?
In your dreams short barrell
Bum chicka bow wow
Oh my God
So the Kung Poo Buck
So the Kung Pao Buckaroos rode off into the sunset

Tune in next time for more action and romance
Yeah
(Softer, George, it's more effective)
Yeah