She can have the kitchen, She can have the bathroom, I'll even let her have the den
'cause everything I need, even a bit of weed, Is safe inside my kingdom
My wife is usually nagging, and if she ain't she's slagging something that is dear to me
So I have a place where I can get some space, I don't even have to leave to take a leak

Welcome to my kingdom on Earth
Please don't come in, the king is giving birth
Don't stand out there in the hallway quietly listing
To see if you can catch me masturbating

I got a stack of dirty books
So I can have a look
And see if something comes up
'cause when I'm in my chamber
I don't think about behaviour
'cause there's no one there to witness it
And you know the king has strange tastes
And there's no limit to the places
He will go when he is wasted
Just look at it like this
I don't leave right after I piss
I just stay a while and unload some stress