I'm not a wealthy man, don't pay for my suntan
I work out in the heat and the cold
Sometimes I'd like to be the big, bad wolf
'Stead of just another sheep in the fold
I hear the rich man holler 'bout the shrinking dollar
And cry about a luxury tax
They won't let him write off his lil' eighty-foot yacht
I'd like to have a problem like that

Yeah, I'd like to have a problem like that
Should I buy the Porsche or the stretch Cadillac
Do I wanna drive fast or just ride around in the back
I'd like to have a problem like that

I saw a celebrity talkin' on the TV
He looked like a tall Tom Cruise
He's seeing Sheila and Bambi, Linda and Candy
They're burning both ends of his fuse
He says he's suffocating, he needs a vacation
From all the kissing and hugging, the sweet talk and loving
I'd like to have a problem like that

Oh, I'd like to have a problem like that
Be a one-man woman juggling act
How many can you keep in the air before you lose track
I'd like to have a problem like that

I'd like to be too rich, I'd to be too thin
I'd like to be too young, I'd like to be too in
Should I kiss and tell, write a book on my life
And how much can I get for the movie rights

Oh, I'd like to have a problem like that
Be a tabloid star at the checkout rack
Should I drag 'em through court
Or tell 'em to kiss my fax
I'd like to have a problem like that

Give me those problems
I think that I could solve 'em
I'd like to have a problem like that